You’ve probably heard all the HYPE about Tasmania. And once you go through the internet, you’ll come across a plethora of positive remarks people say about it. But what about the secret dark underbelly of what it’s really like down here at the bottom of the world?!?!
You know precisely what I mean: those stunning landscapes, fresh produce, the locals are just so nice–maybe even ‘too nice’?! Well, you know what they often say, the brightest lights cast the darkest shadows. And we reckon it’s time to finally reveal Tassie’s worst-kept secrets, with a playful wink and a nod, on why moving here is another bad decision you wouldn’t dare to make.
Are you ready for this twisted adventure? Strap in, as we explore the absurdity of why Tasmania, (which was a convict colony, may we remind you… and was a literal prison island before…) is the worst place you could ever dream of calling home.
Tasmanian Lifestyle is SUCH a Hassle
Do you absolutely adore sitting in never-ending traffic jams–rubbing bumper to bumper with hundreds of other commuters? Or even, maybe, you look forward to a headache-inducing, road-rage-fueled adventure to work each day–a real chance to get on the horn and let out some pent up rage? Well, if your answer to all those questions is “YES”, then Tasmania isn’t the ideal place for you. In Tasmania, a gathering of just 20 cars is already viewed as a ‘pile up’ or ‘traffic jam’. If it takes longer than 20 minutes to get from one side of the city to the other, then you’ve wasted a large chunk of your day in ‘traffic’.
Oh, and did we mention that you can travel from the beach to the top of one of the state’s highest mountains in under 40 minutes–and that is whilst traversing through the ‘city traffic’ we mentioned earlier, too! This is a total hassle if you like spending hours on the road or if you have built a reputation for being fashionably late to appointments. Unfortunately, consistency in tardiness won’t be your strong suit when you’re in Tassie.
Breathtaking Scenery Will Ruin Your Instagram Game
Live in Tasmania and you’ll be on your phone all the time! I mean keeping it charged will be a mega hassle along with all the phone storage that is taken up with all the snaps of all the jaw-dropping natural beauty that is on hand–it’s a photographer’s worst nightmare. With rugged coastlines, pristine beaches, and lush rainforests, your Instagram feed will become an absolute showstopper to your followers. You’ll constantly be bombarded with comments like, “Stop showing off!” and “Why are you always on vacation?” But, hey, who needs virtual validation, right?
Friendly Locals Will Overwhelm You with Kindness
Tasmanians are renowned for their warm hospitality and genuine friendliness – it’s almost icky how nice they are… They’ll insist on inviting you over for a cup of tea or a friendly chat, making it impossible to maintain that “I’m too cool for social interaction” image you’ve cultivated over the years. Prepare to be grossed out by their heart-melting kindness and sense of community. Tasmanians take their sense of community almost too seriously. Whether it’s a local fair, a charity event, or just helping a neighbour in need, they truly embody the “we’re all in this together” spirit. You’ll find yourself swept up in their collective efforts to make the world a better place.
Wildlife Encounters: A Daily Occurrence
Forget about the urban jungle; in Tasmania, you’ll be trading your daily commute for a wildlife safari. Wallabies, wombats, and echidnas will become your new neighbours. You’ll be forced to constantly update your animal spotting journal as you encounter these adorable creatures on your way to work. How frustrating can it become when you regularly come across these lovely ‘locals’?
Café Culture Compromises Your Diet
Tasmania’s coffee scene is unbeatable, with artisanal roasters and quaint cafes on every corner especially when you find yourself roaming around the likes of North Hobart… or even places like Moonah and Glenorchy becoming hipster hotspots these days. You’ll be drawn into a world of latte art, decadent pastries, and sumptuous brunches, making it nearly impossible to stick to your diet plan.
Unbearable Art, Festivals, and Events
Tasmania’s calendar is packed with vibrant festivals, art exhibitions, and cultural events. You’ll find yourself drowning in a sea of entertainment options, from the famous Dark MOFO festival to the Royal Hobart Show. It’s a constant struggle to decide which fabulous event to attend next! Not to mention, Tasmania is home to the Museum of Old and New Art (MONA), which hosts a diverse collection of artworks that captivate your imagination in uniquely unconventional ways. Just imagine the joy of not experiencing this–less stress baggage.
Fresh, Local Produce is a Curse
Tasmania’s fertile soil and clean air have blessed it with an abundance of fresh, local produce. You’ll have access to world-class cheese, wine, beer, seafood, and more. Your taste buds will thank you, but your waistline won’t. Again, this is not the place for those who are serious about dieting. Neither is it for those who want to settle for less in terms of food and drink.
Scenic Hiking Trails: A Never-Ending Torture
If you’re not a fan of stunning mountain hikes, pristine rainforests, and jaw-dropping views, Tasmania is not for you. Prepare to be endlessly tormented by the countless trails, treks, and walks that will beckon you to explore the great outdoors.
Annoying Affordable Housing and Quality of Life
Tasmania boasts some of the most affordable housing in Australia. You’ll be able to secure a beautiful home without breaking the bank (in certain cases), all while enjoying a remarkable quality of life in a safe and welcoming community. But, let’s be honest, who needs a comfortable living situation anyway?
Stunning Beaches: A Lifelong Struggle
Golden sands, crystal-clear waters, and picturesque bays are abundant in Tasmania. You’ll be plagued by the eternal question of which beach to visit next. And you’ll have to come to terms with the fact that you might just become a beach bum, unable to resist their charms.
There you have it, mate! We have just unlocked Tasmania’s trove of worst-kept secrets! Mind you, those are just some of (possibly) many reasons why you shouldn’t move to Tasmania. It’s abundantly clear that Tassie is a destination best left untouched for those who crave isolation, urban chaos, and a life devoid of beauty and kindness.
But if you’re after a state with awe-inspiring landscapes, warm and welcoming locals, enchanting wildlife encounters, delectable food, vibrant cafe culture, love for arts and local events, and countless other incredible experiences, Tasmania is definitely the state you should have in mind if you’re planning to move to a different place.
Just see for yourself the truth of the points we’ve highlighted above when you immerse yourself in the Tasmanian lifestyle! If you’re convinced but unsure where to begin, or if you have any enquiries or questions about anything and everything Tasmanian real estate, don’t hesitate to get in touch with our friendly team. We’ll make sure to provide you the Tassie hospitality you deserve! *wink
